


I Know You Wanna

by exyjunkies



Series: Pray for the Wicked [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Gay Panic, M/M, Strangers to Lovers, Unresolved Emotional Tension, also sorry if there r typos i didnt proofread this enough, at approaching a potential love interest, basically this is where i draw out more of andrew's awkwardness, he is awkward and grumpy about being awkward awwwww, oh my god you guys asked for it so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23229886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exyjunkies/pseuds/exyjunkies
Summary: Wherein Andrew tries to go back to normal after having met Neil, but it doesn't go as planned.
Relationships: Kevin Day/Thea Muldani, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: Pray for the Wicked [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1417714
Comments: 19
Kudos: 187





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So the result of everyone wanting me to continue what was, supposedly, just a one-shot about Andrew being dumb at a college party, is a series of Andrew being dumb at love in general. Hopefully I get to update this regularly - I already have it plotted out, and I already set this part to be just three chapters. Hopefully I keep myself disciplined enough to stick to this: this will update on the following Fridays! 
> 
> (If the theme of this series isn't obvious yet, the title's taken from one of Panic! at the Disco's songs on [Pray for the Wicked](https://open.spotify.com/album/6ApYSpXF8GxZAgBTHDzYge) \- [The Overpass](https://open.spotify.com/track/4hUR3thIs01mQUtVmZFJ8F?si=rbJMfHxLS5SWD-4g4Mhhaw))

Their Saturday morning saw them like this: Kevin, his shirt half-buttoned, passed out and sprawled over their couch, a half-empty water bottle clutched tightly to his chest; Andrew, sleeping with the side of his face down on his own bed, still in the clothes he was wearing last night.

“Mrrmh. Ngh. Gaaah. Fuck.” Andrew tried to get his head off his pillow, then groaned as a jolt of pain shot up his neck. All he could do, as much as he hated it, was to flop back down on the pillow. He was vaguely aware of the trail of saliva that he had left on his pillow, and he wrinkled his nose at the smell.

A stiff neck, a raging hangover, and a rumbling stomach. Andrew thought all of these things were well-deserved, especially after his atrocious behavior last night. Most of which he actually _remembered_ , the memory of it all persistently making its place known in his brain. He just had to be the most out-of-character he could be in a college party. And he couldn’t even blame it on the alcohol.

Most of his alcohol consumption, Andrew knew, happened after Neil left. He was also self-aware enough to initiate all of his drinking bouts, much to the surprise of Nicky and Kevin, the both of whom were willing to match him shot for shot.

 _Neil_. At least that was something Andrew was sure wasn’t a figment of his imagination. The guy had left Andrew right after what happened with Riko, and, after having Nicky look for him five minutes after, it seemed as if he left the party in general. That had majorly bummed the hell out of Andrew, for reasons he couldn’t ( _wouldn’t_ ) explain, and so he had decided to cope with alcohol. Kevin had wanted to go back to their dorm already ( _Andrew, my History final is on Monday, in case you forgot—_ ) but Andrew had decided to ignore him, wriggling a bottle of vodka he stole from the drinks station. Nicky’s excitement dragged Kevin into it as well, and they all said _Cheers, motherfuckers!_ as they shared their first shot.

One shot which became two, then three, then four, then—

“Kevin,” Andrew gritted out as he struggled to get out of his bed. He did his best to not move his head too drastically. One arm up, then the other, then he was on all fours, then he got to hold himself up with both legs on the floor. He found that he couldn’t comfortably face forward, but at the very least, he could keep his head a little upright. He just needed to gradually stretch his head to the left.

His roommate gave no response, which urged Andrew on to get out of their room. Andrew stumbled out into the hallway, bumping into a wall and hitting the side of his head. A series of colorful curses tumbled out of Andrew’s mouth as he kept his hands on the wall to keep himself steady.

Andrew got to the living room and, with no hesitation, got one of the couch pillows and hit Kevin over the head with it. The response was a jolt to consciousness and a fist in the air meant to hit, which Andrew successfully dodged.

“Asshole,” Kevin grunted, and Andrew crossed his arms. Kevin was never _this_ hungover before. Which can probably be attributed to the fact that he never once went against his parents’ wishes, as well as the fact that his own drinking challenge was one Kevin gladly took on.

“Do you remember anything about last night?”

Kevin chose to keep his head down. “Mmfmgh. Why. Did anything bad happen."

"Maybe if you phrased those as actual questions, you'd get better answers from me."

Gingerly, Andrew made his way to their fridge. The magnets on the surface kept grocery lists, photographs, and flyers steady. Thanks to Andrew’s effort and Kevin's semi-pickiness for food, they always had a good supply of fresh produce and snacks. To a lot of people's disbelief, neither Andrew nor Kevin had the desire to keep alcohol so close to home - it was cheaper to go all out on those college parties that came once in a while anyway. Besides, Andrew could safely say that he didn't count himself as an alcoholic, and Kevin just didn't want his parents catching him with a supply of beer on a surprise visit (a number of which had happened before, much to Kevin's shame).

Because he felt like Kevin needed the extra push today, Andrew settled for a bottle of strong black coffee, which he himself had thoroughly despised on the first try. Kevin loved coffee that was bitter enough to kick him in the ass, while Andrew preferred coffee sweet enough to make teeth fall out. It was just one of the many things the pair would never seem to understand about each other.

"The room. It's spinning." Andrew walked back into the living room and saw Kevin staring into space. He ignored the black coffee that Andrew tossed on the couch beside him. "What did I do to myself, Andrew?"

His eyes widened in horror as Andrew (gleefully) recounted the events of the party, starting with the first instance that Kevin and Andrew took a shot together. As Andrew went on, his memory graciously extensive and particularly detailed, Kevin's face went from shocked, to disgusted, and finally, to disappointed.

"But then _at least_ you got to have fun, right?" Andrew said at the end of it all, and Kevin groaned. "And you got to stop being PSU's number one conservative. Never mind the fact that you did a bunch more stuff that you weren't planning on doing."

"I figured the alcohol would be more than enough to set me free," Kevin replied, placing his hand on the black coffee bottle. As he moved to uncap it, he said, "Why did you feel the need for your drinking rampage, anyway? Not that I'm mad at you for influencing me or anything."

"First of all, you govern your own choices. I had nothing to do with how much you drank," Andrew said pointedly. He walked over to their kitchen counter and got himself a glass of water. "Second of all, maybe I just needed to let loose a little. Live my fucking life. What's it to you?"

Kevin’s voice behind him sounded thoughtful and curious. "I don't know, Andrew. It's just that in all the months I've been your roommate, I never expected you to let loose _that much_."

Andrew downed his glass of water to avoid answering. If he was going to be honest, he really didn't expect that he was going to drink that much. The party wasn't that fun, he didn't care about 90% of the people present, and he didn't even like the taste of vodka enough to drink a constant stream of it. But alas, here he was, on the precipice of feeling a small hangover cloud over the rest of his day.

"Actually, if Thea were there, maybe I would've done the same," Kevin continued. "Thank every fucking god in existence she wasn't."

It was a Saturday morning where, Andrew realized, the both of them were going to be busy. Kevin had that History final in less than 48 hours, and Andrew had a paper to pass on Wednesday for his Philosophy class. Because Andrew was not the type to cram, he was dead set on starting it today.

"Anyway, my final say on the matter is this: I shall never go to another college party for as long as I exist on this campus," Andrew said, flopping himself down on one of their beanbags. It had been Kevin's idea to invest on beanbags (one was dark red and the other was black), and these had proven to be incredibly accommodating for his friends from creative writing club whenever they came over to play Mariokart.

Andrew felt the tension in his shoulders when he saw Kevin studying him carefully. He wasn't the type to flinch, especially not when Kevin looked like he was going to say something incredibly stupid, so his response was to jab his toe into Kevin's ankle.

" _What._ "

"Are you sure about that?"

"About avoiding every single party that the PSU community cooks up?" Andrew made a show of making himself comfortable on the red beanbag. "Yes."

"Okay, well. I promise to call you when your boy toy shows up."

As Kevin stood up, Andrew stuck out his foot and angled it to trip Kevin.

"What the fu— _Andrew_!" Kevin gritted out, his knee propped up against the couch. Andrew's smirk was sharp and amused. "I was just—"

"You were just _what_?"

"I was just coming from how I saw you two last night.” Kevin made sure to step over Andrew’s foot this time, and rolled his eyes when he saw that Andrew held absolutely no regret in his face. “It seemed like you were hitting it off with Mr. Auburn Hair.”

The first hour after Neil left, Nicky and Kevin had resorted to making codenames to refer to Neil, mostly because Andrew wouldn’t tell them Neil’s name. Andrew had found it both extremely annoying and unusually grounding, which meant he had to do nothing but resign himself to giving bare responses to Nicky and Kevin’s series of questions.

After around 45 minutes, Nicky and Kevin grew tired of the topic and went to drag Andrew to see the band.

“He was getting on my nerves anyway,” Andrew tried. The words tasted bitter, like the lie they were part of as they left his mouth. “I can continue living without ever seeing him again.”

Kevin raised an eyebrow. He went to sit on the arm of the couch. “Dude, I _know_ you. I know you’re going to dial that number on your arm as soon as I leave this room.” At this, he went back to sitting on the couch, crossing his legs as he did so. He put up a finger and pointed it at Andrew’s face. “I want to see you do it.”

 _Crap_. Andrew had completely forgotten about the Sharpie-inked number on his forearm. The numbers stared back at him tauntingly, daring him to grab his phone and make the call.

“Nice try, Day,” Andrew replied, looking at anywhere but Kevin’s eyes. “Not going to do it.”

“After all that effort to not have any drink spill on it? Come on.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“You guys _did_ kiss already, or so you said—”

“When did I say _that_?” Andrew exclaimed, trying his best not to lash out. He still remembered the way Neil had felt up against him, the warmth of his lips, firmness of his grip. The memory of it all was enough to make Andrew’s breathing a little strained.

Kevin scoffed, and stared at the label on his black coffee. “It was after the third shot we did together, I think. Nicky said, ‘Not bad’, and I laughed, because I couldn’t believe it.” His eyes widened, and he brought the coffee bottle closer to his face. “ _Wow_ , this coffee really has that many calories, huh—"

“And did I say anything else after that?” Andrew was doing his best to not hyperventilate. One of the things he hated the most about himself whenever he wasn’t sober was his tendency to overshare. And it was always worse when it was alcohol. He stood up and did his best to act nonchalant.

“Um, no. But hey man, I really do support you in whatever you decide to do. I just want to see you happy, that’s all—”

Kevin was thrown off-balance as Andrew stormed off past him. Andrew said nothing as he made his way quickly back to his room.

“Andrew, just make sure you write the number somewhere!” Kevin yelled. “In case you decide to change your mind.”

In the room, Andrew did his best to collect himself. Surely he did not let himself go _that_ much? The number on his arm was visual proof of his stupidity early in the party, but he did not have a clear enough recollection of what happened afterwards.

This made him uneasy about what was to come, and a little sick to his stomach, because he was genuinely grossed out by himself.

But Andrew couldn’t ignore the single spark of _something_ inside him, a teeny feeling that was separate from everything else bad. Was it gratefulness, because he had stepped out of his comfort zone and done something he never thought he’d be able to do? Was it smugness, because he got to show Riko who was _who_?

Or was it hope, specifically because having the number meant he had a good chance of seeing Neil again?

Andrew let out, in a long exhale, every bad thing he was feeling, and took one last look at his arm.

“Ah, what the hell,” he mumbled, and took out his phone. Kevin had programmed his own phone number into it, and Nicky had asked Kevin to include his after first hearing that Andrew already owned a phone. Andrew also had Aaron’s number in it, as well as a few others he had to reach out to because he was partnered up with them for an assignment. Renee Walker’s number was there too – Andrew and the eccentric Interior Design major had met at one of those on-campus art exhibits, and had decided to link up whenever one of them had artist’s block.

Neil’s number was not particularly hard to memorize. Andrew deftly inputted it into his phone, then tossed his phone on his bed.

 _I’m so not calling it,_ Andrew thought to himself, and did so as he stood by the sink and scrubbed the number off of him.

-*-

“So in working on your final projects, I expect you all to take into account every single comment I’ve given regarding your previous exercises. Remember, I’m not strictly looking for the meaning in your outputs, what really matters grade-wise is the _execution_ of the medium, the application of color theory – and you _know_ I’m a sucker for color theory – and, as with all outputs, coherence and aesthetic quality. I— Mr. Minyard? Care to share what’s so _interesting_ outside?”

Andrew was jolted out of his current staring session with the window. Outside, the rugby team was deep in afternoon practice, their coach yelling instructions by the side. Blinking twice, Andrew faced forward and did his best to look apologetic.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, taking his pen and setting in upright against his notebook. He hoped his professor wouldn’t notice that he didn’t click it open.

The professor, Mrs. Reed, nodded slowly. “Uh huh. Well, if I’m hearing you apologize for the first time, I guess whatever’s outside must be worth it.” This was met with light laughter from all around the class, and a scowl from Andrew. Mrs. Reed pushed her glasses up her nose and leaned forward. “Anyway, if you guys have any questions, you have my email. You can either forward concerns there or schedule a consultation with me. Class dismissed.”

“You okay?” Andrew’s seatmate, a well-meaning girl named Patricia, asked. Andrew looked at her, all in her flowery, bejeweled glory, and shook his head. Patricia raised an eyebrow, more out of surprise than out of suspicion, but chose not to comment. Instead, she lightly placed her hand on Andrew’s shoulder. Andrew allowed it, because out of every person he’s been classmates with, Patricia was somehow the least annoying. “If there’s anything you need—”

“No, I’m— I’m good.” Andrew forced a tight-lipped smile, and pushed his seat back. As Patricia nodded, he chucked his things into his bag haphazardly. Patricia stood up and shrugged the straps of her own bag onto her shoulder.

“Fancy getting something to snack on? Our next class was called off last night.”

His mind was reeling with the thought of dialing Neil’s number. What conflicted with this was his own idea that calling Neil was a sign of weakness, that he would be giving into something that could potentially be bad for him. The idea of leaving things be was extremely appealing to Andrew, because he knew that things would stay exactly as they are (and he _liked_ how things were), but he couldn’t shake the feeling that things just happened for _a damn reason._

“Fine.” Maybe a bite to eat would help reorient his mind. Andrew followed Patricia out of the room, and down to the school’s cafeteria. A few students sat at the long tables, eating merrily and chatting after a long school day. Patricia motioned for Andrew to walk faster, and made her way to one of the food stands.

As Patricia rattled off her order, Andrew silently pondered over his dilemma. It was ridiculous, to say the least. It was a stupid _number_ , one that he could simply just forget about and not do anything about. Andrew was a firm believer of the fact that if he could live his life with no surprises and no complications, then he would be well on his way to the quiet and barely problematic life that he so desperately wanted. He would leave school with his art degree, apply for jobs at museums and art schools and art studios and see where he would be accepted. He knew how much he was worth, and he knew how good he was. All that was left was for him to know just how well he wanted to be received by the world.

But even as Andrew’s life philosophy was to not invite any difficulties in, he also couldn’t forget about the connection he had with Neil the previous night. It was attraction in its most basic form. Andrew can’t deny the chemistry, as much as he wished he could.

Andrew also knew that, beneath the initial fact of what it was, was the potential of what it _could_ be. His curiosity was what frustrated him, for the most part. The thrumming in his chest that kept telling him _it could be good, it could be so so good, if only you could just_ —

“We can sit here, if that’s okay,” Patricia said, pulling back a chair and setting her bag on the table. In her hand was two containers of fries. One held barbeque fries, while the other held sour cream fries. Inhaling sharply, Andrew merely nodded as he took the sour cream container and went around to sit across Patricia.

As he sat down, he noticed that Patricia was studying him intently. Andrew took a fry and munched on it, savoring the flavored powder on his tongue. He closed his eyes, and wondered where Neil was right now.

“You know, you can spit it out. Whatever you’re thinking,” Andrew said, not opening his eyes. Patricia had always been the subtle type, and it was something that didn’t bother Andrew in any way. “It’d do you better than staring at me all day.”

He heard Patricia scoff, and he opened his eyes. Patricia was hunched over, enjoying the soda she had gotten with her fries. Beside Andrew’s own container of fries had appeared a bottle of lemon iced tea.

“That’s the sweet one, by the way,” Patricia continued, pointing at the iced tea. Andrew stared back at her blankly, unsure as to when she picked up on the fact that he was an absolute sweet tooth. “And as for telling you what I’m thinking, I don’t think it’d do you any good. You wouldn’t even confirm or deny anything I say.”

“Oh yeah? And where would you get that idea?”

“Uh, from all the months that we’ve hung out whenever we had the same free period?”

“I’m not that predictable.”

“Then I guess I’m just really good at reading people.”

Andrew frowned, and decided to take the bottle of iced tea instead of replying. As he uncapped it, he thought of sharing with Patricia his Neil problem. It wasn’t as if he and Patricia were strangers – if anything, she was close to being on the same social level as Renee was.

“You don’t have to tell me anything for me to know that you’re struggling with making up your mind about something,” Patricia remarked, and Andrew felt all the color drain from his face. “You – and other men – have so many easy tells.”

Blinking rapidly, Andrew replied, “Like what—”

“You’re unfocused, you’re uncharacteristically silent – the kind of silent that’s far from how silent you _usually_ are, by the way, because when you’re the _normal_ kind of silent, I still hear you hovering and you’re definitely not hovering now – and most of all, when you _do_ speak, it’s clipped and quick.” Patricia cocked her head to one side. “Almost as if most of your brainpower is being used for something else.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Andrew said, emotionlessly, because he knew she was right. Patricia’s self-satisfied smirk didn’t budge when Andrew resigned himself to visibly sulking and putting his chin into the palm of his hand.

“Women are always right about these things. It is time men like you stopped questioning us.”

“I’m still not going to tell you what the problem is.”

“You don’t have to. I already know what advice I’m going to give.”

Andrew couldn’t help the intrigue that he felt. “Indulge me, ma’am.” He made a face and pointed a fry at himself. He said, with all the sarcasm he could muster, “I am clueless and in need of help.”

As she finished chewing, Patricia took a big gulp of her soda. Andrew watched Patricia’s throat work, waiting for a response. And because it was Patricia, it was a long enough swallow that Andrew actually _stopped_ waiting for a response. Just as he was about to open his mouth to move on to another topic, Patricia set down her soda and, in one fluid motion, poked Andrew on the arm.

“Just don’t do it.”

The fry in Andrew’s mouth actually caught in his throat as he tried to swallow, and Andrew coughed violently, feeling the discomfort build up in his chest. Patricia showed no sign of being apologetic, and merely uncapped Andrew’s iced tea for him.

“I’m serious,” Patricia continued, as Andrew set down his drink and gave her a dirty look. “I don’t know anything about whatever dilemma you’re having, but if it involves doing something on your end, something that could potentially thrust you into a world of shit, then just don’t do it. You’re scared, and sometimes, we forget that _that fear_ is there for good reason. Most people would tell you their carpe diem bullshit, but I believe otherwise. Carpe diem is for those who are good enough to back up their stupid decisions, and I don’t think you’d be willing to expend that much emotional and mental energy. So just don’t do it, make peace with not doing it for now, and go on with your life as normal. You wanna know what’s so important about not doing it?”

Andrew motioned for her to continue. He really didn’t know any better, so he might as well take all of this in and decide later.

“You’ll know whether or not it was worth not doing _later on_ ,” Patricia said, a twinkle in her eye. “If you feel any regret, or if it haunts you and it gets worse by the day, or if you begin to overthink and it ruins your life. Only _then_ will you know that the choice you made was the wrong call. And only _then_ will you do something that actually means something.”

Patricia’s bag started to vibrate, and she made a peace sign with her fingers before reaching in for her phone. As Patricia took a call, Andrew leaned back into his seat and really, _actually_ thought about it.

Never was he ever told to _not_ do something. All those advice columns always said that Doing Something was the surefire way to avoid regret. It was refreshing advice to hear, especially since Patricia knew nothing about his problem.

Besides, maybe Andrew really _did_ just need the validation that doing nothing was absolutely okay. And, if one looked at it a certain way, doing nothing was _still_ doing something.

 _Damn_. Andrew’s mind briefly brought him back to his Philosophy classes. A small ache was present at the back of his head. Too much thinking was giving him a headache.

“Hmm,” Andrew responded, biting on a fry and looking at Patricia thoughtfully.

“Oh, men. So weird, and yet some of my own kind can't live without them. Thank God I'm a lesbian. Anyway, back to my advice." Patricia set her phone down and gave Andrew a very pointed look. "Did that help ya, chief?" she asked cheerfully, taking three fries and shoving them into her mouth.

“Yeah,” Andrew said, and he was sure of himself. He took a sip of his iced tea and felt the clouds in his mind begin to move aside. “Yeah, it did.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil shows up in places where Andrew just happens to be.

It was typical of Andrew to eat lunch alone, especially since he preferred nice, quiet solitude to the obligation of having to make conversation every five minutes. PSU’s cafeteria food was decent enough that he could expect to enjoy a good sandwich, a bag of chips (with more chips than air, thank God), a soft drink, and a cup of chocolate pudding on an almost regular basis. He loaded up on candy if the vending machine had his favorites, and he even smiled (or at least, gave his best version of a smile) at the cafeteria staff if he was in a particularly good mood.

The cliques in PSU generally followed the same pattern other schools had. Jocks sat with cheerleaders, rich girls sat with other rich girls, and nerds sat with gamers, all among the other friend groups that everyone knew about. Half the tables were designated, while the other half was free game for new students, exchange students, teachers, and those who didn’t sit with the same people all the time. Those who chose to sit alone had long established that they didn’t want anybody going near them – people like Andrew, for example.

Except today was a day Andrew had agreed to meet Renee for lunch. He scanned the crowds of people in the cafeteria, hoping to see the streak of brightly colored hair that he was so familiar with. Renee had reached out to Andrew sometime last week, hoping to ask for some advice regarding a project of hers. When Andrew had asked to see a picture, Renee had replied _a good design isn’t fully appreciated through the eyes of a camera!_ and requested to see him as soon as possible. After a customary roll of his eyes, Andrew had agreed, and set the day, time, and place.

Renee was late today, so Andrew took the time to sit back and work on his latest sketch. He was glad he had the mind to bring along his secret notebook today, which was where all his throwaway drawings went. It had multiple other papers paperclipped or stapled to it, as well as jagged edges where Andrew had decided to tear out a page. Despite the growing thickness of the notebook, the brown leather binding that was holding it together was pretty sturdy, kept sturdy and in place by a single black band.

Andrew opened the notebook to the stretch he was currently working on – the rolling hills in Napa Valley. He wanted to work on making the light hit the hills just right, focusing on shadows and levels rather than coloring. Because of this, the drawing was done entirely with his black fine-line pen, the shadows done with finer lines and the hills outlined for emphasis.

“Your linework is less sloppy now.”

Andrew’s first instinct was to slam his notebook closed. Renee brought out the lollipop she was sucking on with a loud _smack!_ and raised an eyebrow.

“You need to be better at taking compliments.”

“And _you_ need to learn how to be less of a creep.”

“Oh, Andrew. I wish you never change.”

Dumping her bag on the floor, Renee took the seat across from Andrew. She was in a rainbow tie-dye shirt and white jeans, her bright her held back with a few bobby pins. Andrew saw an inch of a new tattoo underneath her right sleeve.

"You got new ink done?" Andrew took a potato chip and munched on it.

"Yep. It finished healing yesterday. Wanna see?"

As she drew her sleeve up, Renee's eyes shifted to look at Andrew's face. On Renee's arm was a floral display, intricately done from each stem to each petal. It reached up to the top of Renee's shoulder, and down to almost all of Renee's upper arm. The details were immaculate, and the contrast against Renee's skin somehow made it more beautiful.

"I like it." Renee practically glowed with Andrew's one-liner comment, which was enough for Andrew to look back down at his food.

"You were gonna show me something?"

"Oh yeah." With a flourish, Renee took from her bag a smaller paper bag. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes - which was something she always did whenever she was bracing herself for criticism.

"I'm passing this tomorrow for my woodworking class. I know, I know, it's just just an elective, but I've never been one to take any project lightly. I particularly liked working on this one because it's just... so far from what I'm used to, you know? Going out of your comfort zone is the only way to truly grow, anyway."

From the paper bag, Renee brought out her project, and placed it in front for Andrew to look at. Andrew blinked twice, then leaned forward to examine it closer.

It was a small, wooden box. The wood was a dark maroon, and the top of the box was black with gold-finished corners. Each corner had a swirl and three dots done into it. To the side of the box was a small wind-up handle, also in gold.

"A music box." Andrew did his best to not sound like all his breath had been taken away.

Renee's voice was loaded with pride. "Three full songs, all of which do _not_ have a fuck-up in the transitions. Go ahead, try it."

Andrew reached out to wind up the box, careful to apply just enough pressure. After three turns, he stopped. The music box slowly opened, and the tune of Clair de Lune softly played.

"Renee, this is—" Andrew stopped himself, trying to find the right words. "Honestly, this is some of your best work. It's simple, but enough to move a person." It was more than he had ever given in a single breath. He leaned back, trying to relax himself. "Also, the Debussy was a nice touch."

"I figured the best way to have people really like this thing would be to include songs they actually know," Renee replied, nodding. "I wonder if my teacher will like it."

"If they don't, they're not a real artist."

"You flatter me too much."

"It's called honesty."

Renee sighed a contented sigh. She pushed the still-playing music box to the side, and watched as Andrew took a bite of his sandwich.

"So what's up with you?" Renee asked, tapping her fingers on the table. She put back the lollipop into the hollow of her mouth.

"Nothing much. I've been drawing again, but nothing too serious."

"You should think about posting some of your works."

Andrew frowned. For months, Renee had been on convincing him to take his art to Instagram. He was simply not having it. "The Internet isn't a place for my works."

"You'd be inspiring other artists."

"We've had this conversation before. I don't care enough."

Renee shrugged. "Ah, well. I make sure to have at least one attempt at convincing you every time we get to meet up. It's just me doing God's work."

A part of Andrew didn't think God factored anywhere in this equation, but before he got to bring that up, he saw that Renee was looking past him, like she was distracted by something.

"Sorry, what's that?" Renee said, a little too loudly. She was looking behind him. She put up a finger and pointed at the top of his head. "Oh, him? Yeah. He's my friend." She settled back in her seat, a small smile on her face. "What a nice man."

"What—" Andrew turned around, and found himself disappointed when he saw no one in the cafeteria looking in their direction. He turned back around, and gave Renee a scowl.

"Some guy – tall, messy hair, _kind of_ cute? – was trying to get my attention, and it turns out that he was mouthing your name. He didn’t seem to want me to send you over to him, but I guess he knew you."

Andrew, in his attempt to turn back around as fast as possible, almost broke his neck. Ignoring the ache, he scanned the crowds for that familiar face, for that pair of blue eyes. His heart was beating so fast that a part of him wondered if Renee could hear it too.

 _You’ll know whether or not it was worth not doing_ later on. _If you feel any regret, or if it haunts you and it gets worse by the day, or if you begin to overthink and it ruins your life. Only_ then _will you know that the choice you made was the wrong call. And only_ then _will you do something that actually means something._

"Andrew?" Renee rattled Andrew's bag of potato chips to get his attention. She made a face at Andrew's startled return to the table. "Are you—"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay." Andrew shook his head as he tried to clear it. Renee was looking at him with concern, which he quickly waved off.

He had taken Patricia's advice, and was doing extremely well in his attempt to avoid anything that had to do with Neil. He had successfully sidestepped all of Kevin's attempts to bring him back up in conversation. He had triumphantly changed the topic when Nicky mentioned him when they bumped into each other in the hallway.

And as for that goddamn number, well. Andrew had it saved but _not really_ – it was hastily typed in his Notes app, and his steel will had certainly helped with the temptation of dialling it.

“Did you know the guy?”

“I—” Andrew’s throat was a little too dry. He took a generous swig of his iced tea, then looked back at Renee, who had an eyebrow raised. “It’s just some freshman.”

Currently, Andrew was doing his best to school his heartbeat back to a reasonable speed. He knew it’d be different, seeing him outside the bounds of a college party. He didn’t know what he’d do if he ever got an unsolicited interaction with Neil. And naturally, not knowing what he’d do is a source of anxiety adding onto the already existing anxiety he has. Terrific.

Renee looked at Andrew like he was something she had to figure out. Andrew did his best to even out his breathing, and eventually snapped at Renee when the staring got too much.

“Anything to say, Walker?”

He saw the side of Renee’s mouth quirk up. Renee shook her head, and closed the music box, which had long stopped playing music. As she put it back in the paper bag, she said, “Nothing. It’s just— you’re not usually like this.”

“Like what?”

Renee looked up back at Andrew with a twinkle in her eyes. “Like someone that has something to look forward to.”

-*-

It kept happening, and it only seemed to worsen even if Andrew did his best to avoid it. He supposed it was stupid of him to think that the cafeteria thing would be a one-off, but he also figured there was no point living his life in fear of what was going to happen next.

At the end of his last class the next day, when Andrew was putting a book back in his locker, he saw Neil from across the hallway, drinking from the water fountain. Because Neil was just that tall, he had to lean enough that Andrew had a good view of… the rest of his body. Andrew took so long in staring that he didn’t realize he was unnecessarily shoving around the things he had in his locker.

In the library, when Andrew was caught up in some research for his project, he heard Neil inquire, a little too loudly, about where to find the science fiction section. Andrew felt all the nerves in his body tense up, the computer in front of him taking a little too long to load the website. As the librarian led Neil to the science fiction section (which they just _had_ to pass by Andrew for), Andrew closed his eyes, and willed everything to go away.

The worst of all the instances came in the form of a school assembly, where Mr. Warren, their principal, decided to announce the on-campus anniversary party that PSU would be holding to celebrate its fifty years. Mr. Warren was a semi-bald married man in his mid-thirties with a mustache and a round waist. He was extra excited as he detailed out how the party would be held in the basketball court, and how the school board had allocated a significant amount of the budget for food and for the program.

Andrew sat in his seat, thinking about how much time he was wasting on being present for a stupid assembly instead of working on his final project. He already had an idea in mind, and he already had most of what he needed back at the dorm – all he needed was finalize his proposal, because he felt that he needed to consult with his teacher for fine-tuning the details.

“Now, I know you kids have your own way of shaking things up, if you catch my drift,” said Mr. Warren, and he pointed at a few kids whom he thought found him funny. “But I assure you, this is a once-in-a-lifetime PSU event. It’s not every year that you students will be able to see your teachers in glamorous outfits, and it’s not every day that you get a fun night of food and— and mocktails.”

Mr. Warren waved off all the _boos_ he got from the crowd, and continued. “I can guarantee that these mocktails taste _just like_ the real thing. Now, where was I—? Oh, yes. Again, this will happen on Friday night. The theme is vintage, so go in any outfit that fits the bill. Now, you kids can be creative all you want, but we are kicking out anyone who so much as _thinks_ about showing too much skin. Also,” at this, he waggled his eyebrows, “you are _allowed_ to bring dates.”

“This is going to be a dead party, and he knows it,” Kevin murmured beside him, shaking his head. “No college kid would willingly stay here at the end of the week for fancy dinner and no booze.”

As much as he wasn’t an alcoholic himself, Andrew had to agree. “Free food seems like a good idea for the dormers, but that’s pretty much it.”

“I think the school just wants to be more in-touch with its student body,” Nicky said thoughtfully. He was seated in front of them, munching on some pretzels. He extended the bag to offer some to Andrew and Kevin. “Something about the parents wanting their kids happy at school, I think.”

Kevin shook his head, while Andrew took a pretzel. “Maybe someone can spike the punch bowl? That happens in movies.”

“Yeah, except the teachers would know half an hour after that happens. The students here aren’t subtle when they lack sobriety.” Kevin leaned back, crossing his arms. “Besides, Warren said something about the teachers having shifts to man the bowl. No one would be able to get near it.”

Right now, Mr. Warren was talking to Coach Wymack on the stage. Wymack was looking at him and at the students with a stern look on his face, and he nodded once Mr. Warren smiled and patted him on the back.

“Right. If you have any questions, direct them to Coach Wymack. We have the student council overseeing most of the preparations, but he’s going to be the faculty-in-charge of this shindig. Did I say that right?” Mr. Warren looked at the students, who didn’t give him the satisfaction of being amused. Regardless of that, he still gave them a bright smile “Well. I really think we’ll all have fun. That’s all for now. Assembly over.”

As the other students began to file out of the assembly room, Andrew’s eye caught on Allison Reynolds, who stood out in her pastel pink ensemble and large white-gold hoops. Allison was seated far from them, all the way up near the front row. She seemed to be animatedly talking to the person beside her, who happened to be—

“Oh _shit_ ,” Andrew muttered, moving to hide himself behind the chairs in front of him. The rush of the movement almost toppled the chair he was originally seated on “Not now. No.”

Kevin’s face warped into what seemed to be an expression stuck between laughing and showing concern. “Dude, are you good? You look like you’re about to throw up.”

“Oh, I think I know why.” Nicky jutted his chin in Neil’s general direction, and Andrew silently cursed when Kevin moved to look. “Lover boy alert.”

“Will you _shut up_ ,” Andrew hissed, bracing a tight grip on Kevin’s thigh. “I can’t see him _now_.”

It didn’t seem like Allison had noticed anything, but Andrew heard the faint clicking of her high heels. Kevin looked back down at Andrew and gave a smug grin.

“They’re headed this way,” Kevin said lightly, and it took almost everything in Andrew to not combust. “Nicky knows Allison.”

“Hey, Nicky,” Allison casually greeted, putting a manicured hand up. Andrew closed his eyes as he mentally processed everything that was happening right now.

_Neil is a few feet away, and I’m the guy that didn’t call him. Neil is a few feet away, and instead, I’m crouching and looking like I don’t want to see him. Neil is a few feet away, and I’m here looking like an absolute idiot._

“Well, if it isn’t Miss Reynolds,” Nicky replied, standing up and slinging his bag over his shoulder. “Sorry about my friend here, he’s… otherwise preoccupied. What do you think about this Friday?”

“Oh, I’m going to be there, if that’s what you’re asking,” Allison said breezily. Andrew got up and sat back down in his seat, feeling the ache in his knees. He did his best to not look Neil’s way, even if Neil was obviously looking at him. Allison raised an eyebrow. “Are you guys planning on going?”

“Eh, maybe,” Kevin piped up, and Andrew almost nudged him with his elbow. “Might be more exciting if someone snuck in a few bottles of vodka.”

Allison’s eyes shone as brightly as the glitter on her purse. “Great minds think alike,” she said.

“I also wouldn’t mind having someone there with me,” Neil said. Andrew felt the floor give out from under him.

“Oh yeah? Well, we know someone who _might_ be available—”

Nicky’s playful tone was cut short by Kevin, who said, “Well, we were about to get going. We’ll see you there, Allison.” Allison, briefly distracted by her phone, waved them off. Ignoring Neil’s amused face, Kevin physically tugged on Andrew’s arm for him to budge, and then he had to drag Andrew outside and into the nearest men’s bathroom. Nicky trailed along, laughing loudly all the way.

“Wow, you were absolutely _gone_ back there, Andrew,” Nicky commented, leaning back against the wall as Andrew locked himself inside a stall. “Who knew your gay panic episodes were like that?”

Through the buzzing in his mind, Andrew managed to say, “That was _not_ gay panic.” He braced himself against the stall door, trying to catch his breath.

“Andrew, you can just call the damn number,” Kevin said. The sound of a faucet opening wasn’t enough to muffle his words as he continued, “I saw the way he was looking at you.”

“Yeah, yeah, like you were a hot piece of shit,” Nicky agreed. “Boy was not subtle at all.”

“Why not call it, Andrew? It can’t be that bad.”

“Because,” Andrew said, getting out of the stall and looking at the both of them. “I’m not _that_ interested.”

Kevin and Nicky took one look at Andrew, then one look at each other, then laughed, loud enough for the sound to bounce off the walls of the entire bathroom. Andrew glared at the both of them.

“And how has— how has ignoring him this whole week been like?” Nicky asked, struggling to be coherent between sniggers.

“It was fine.”

“Oh _God_ , it gets better,” Kevin said, putting up a hand against the wall to hold himself up. “Nicky, he has the man’s number typed up, but _not saved_.”

As the both of them guffawed, Andrew strolled past them and out of the bathroom. He needed to calm himself down.

If he had to be honest with himself, his attraction to Neil did not feel good _at all_. It wasn’t something he was used to, this level of crushing on people he’s only interacted with once. The pull was strong enough to make him wary, and what happened in the assembly room was enough that he didn’t know if he could handle anything more for today.

For lack of a better word, the fact that he was attracted to Neil _scared_ him.

As he walked down the hall, a voice from behind stopped him in his tracks.

“Come on,” the voice said. The voice that Andrew knew so well. His breathing stopped; his heart skipped a beat. “Would it really be that bad?”

Andrew didn’t say anything back, and ran off instead, wanting to be anywhere but there.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew seeing Neil at the PSU party leads to a few developments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Referenced in this chapter are songs from the 50s (and possibly 60s?) that are placed in _italics_. The links for these are [here](https://open.spotify.com/track/7ycFNferNuk6wAjBa0vWvl?si=N0t_NZvQRvilVHcaUij4xQ), [here](https://open.spotify.com/track/1INWPr855fwWdAOeecbu0W?si=lozQRpXOQ-6tM5wk4W1wAA), [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8rAJZUm9gY), [here](https://open.spotify.com/track/20PaGpNxzJ8L44Lcgv6l1o?si=LZ9P7OPHSzigon1wRuOdHA), and [here](https://open.spotify.com/track/5QxhDczYUnBnhLnRczCDe6?si=8amprBhHRJOYfC-5jUgdjA).
> 
> Additionally, I'm so, so sorry this is almost a week late, I got caught up in playing ACNH and had no mental capacity for literally anything else. But as it is with authorial apologies, this is slightly longer chapter to make up for it. Enjoy!

“So you’re not going to ask him to the PSU thing. Even if he _already_ made it clear he wanted to go with you.”

“Kevin, you _know_ Andrew’s the type to say one thing and do another.”

“Shut up.”

“Nicky, if by ‘do another’, you mean ‘do something else that is equally stupid’, then yeah, that’s probably on the nose.”

“Look, I don’t even know if I’ll be _going_. I am perfectly content to stay here, with the TV, and with no Kevin to bother me.”

“Aw man, that sounds sad, even from you.”

“Andrew, as your roommate, I will stay here with you—”

“ _No_ , Kevin, you need to go with me. Erik already ditched me.”

“For good reason.”

“You really sure we can’t convince you? Allison made good on spiking the punch.”

“Kevin, if you have to ask again, I _will_ draw back a fist and punch you.”

-*-

The first thing Andrew noticed about the party was the retro diner-like interior, making the basketball court almost unrecognizable. Tables were set up to look like diner booths, music notes and vintage cars decorated the walls, and a jukebox was placed in the dead center, loud enough to be the main source of music. The plates were real-looking black vinyls, placed on red-and-white checkered tablecloth. The centerpieces were fake Coca Cola bottles with a straw inside.

“Excuse me.” A student hastily moved past Andrew, carrying quite a lot of tubs. Kevin drew up behind Andrew and whistled lowly.

“See what I told you?” Kevin said, lightly nodding in the student’s direction. The student, slowly but surely, made their way to the table already laden with food, and he set down the tubs beside a scooper.

“There _are_ going to be milkshakes,” Andrew said, a little breathless with amazement. And he really was breathless, especially since he was only convinced to attend this by Kevin’s mere mention of what the desserts were going to be. In his haste, he had thrown together what he considered to be a passable 50s outfit (a white tee, a black leather jacket, and denim jeans) while Kevin was decked out in his own checkered suit and Nicky settled for black jeans and a red varsity jacket with the letter E on it.

“Mr. Warren went all out.”

As a handful of students made their way towards the buffet table, Andrew scanned the rest of the court. They had gotten there about twenty minutes late, but it didn’t seem as if they missed anything important. The other students had done better with their own outfits. The music was a cheery, upbeat tune, and a few of the teachers were up near the jukebox and dancing amicably.

_My lover I was wronger  
_ _To try to love two  
_ _Ahh uha uha uha uha  
_ _Knowing well that my lover  
_ _Was just for you uh only you_

“Kevin,” Andrew muttered, grabbing Kevin by the sleeve. “Don’t look now, but—”

“I already saw.” Kevin’s mouth was set into a tight line. His shoulders were tense, and his hands were slightly balled into fists.

About five feet from them stood Thea, dressed in tight jeans that went to a few inches above her ankles, a white button-down, and a pair of black stilettos. She was holding on to the arm of some guy that Andrew didn’t know – and by the looks of it, Kevin didn’t seem to know him either. The guy was muscular, his build almost uncontained by his polo shirt. Nicky visibly cringed as the guy slapped Thea’s butt, and wrinkled his nose when it looked like Thea actually _giggled_.

“Was she ever like that with you?”

“Nicky, compared to now, Thea was _frigid_ when we were in public.” Nicky’s mouth hung open in shock. Andrew said nothing as he remembered all the times Thea refused to publicly display any sort of affection with Kevin. While Kevin didn’t care much about being touchy-feely, he _did_ like holding hands, which Thea did not seem to like when they were seen together.

Kevin nodded. “Yeah. _I know_.”

_Come on, let's twist again  
_ _Like we did last summer  
_ _Yeah, let's twist again  
_ _Like we did last year  
_ _Do you remember when  
_ _Things were really hummin'?  
_ _Yeah, let's twist again  
_ _Twistin' time is here_

“Maybe we should just get to our seats,” Andrew suggested, pulling Kevin as much as possible. When Kevin didn’t budge on the first nudge, Andrew took hold of his forearm and pulled harder, eyeing Nicky for help.

Their assigned table was near the drinks station. Andrew pulled Kevin up behind a chair, then pulled on one for himself. Kevin stared down at his vinyl plate, blinking himself out of his daze.

“Wow, so much for being _exes_ ,” Nicky commented, settling in his own chair. He raised an eyebrow as Kevin flipped him off.

“I told you staying at the dorm was a good idea,” Andrew said, earning his own middle finger from Kevin.

Eventually, Kevin was okay enough for the three of them to get some food. PSU didn’t hold back – there were cheeseburger sliders piled high, crispy potato wedges, and thick hotdogs in buns with ketchup and mustard. There were options for side salads and coleslaw, as well as a DIY sandwich section in the middle. Several bananas and a container of chocolate syrup sat beside the ice cream, so that guests could opt for banana splits. A student volunteer, the same one carrying the tubs of ice cream earlier, was operating the blender, asking each one which flavor of milkshake they wanted.

Andrew, admittedly, had a hard time deciding what kind of milkshake he wanted. Eventually, he settled on a strawberry milkshake, pointedly adding that it should be thick and frothy, which the student volunteer was more than happy to oblige. Beside him, Kevin asked if a root beer float was an option, while Nicky got himself a glass of lemonade.

Plates of food and drinks in tow, they made their way back to their table. Andrew went ahead, and Kevin and Nicky trailed behind.

“The food actually makes this whole thing worth it,” Nicky remarked. “Somehow, PSU succeeded _without_ alcohol.”

“We just haven’t seen Allison yet,” Kevin replied. “I’m sure she— hey, whoa, Andrew, why’d you stop walking? I almost dropped all my foo—”

Kevin went silent when, at Andrew’s signal, his own eyes went to where Andrew was looking.

At their own table sat Neil, beside some stranger. And he and said stranger seemed to be… _intimate_.

_Dig, dig, dig, my Long Island sound  
_ _I hope you're puttin' it down  
_ _You got me in a mood that's so romantic  
_ _If you notice you can dig this silly old act  
_ _Because I'm actin' so distracted, when I dig you  
_ _Pretty baby, you will never know how much I really dig you  
_ _You have got me so excited that I goofed blowin' my horn_

“Oh, hey Andrew!” Neil greeted, as Andrew slowly set down his plate of food. Nicky and Kevin sat down too, unsure of where this was going to go. “Looks like we’re at the same table. I brought my plus one with me. I hope that’s not a problem.”

“Hi, I’m Tim,” the stranger said, smiling a little. Nicky quickly reached out to shake his hand when he saw how expressionless Andrew’s face looked. “Tim. Nice to meet you. Are you a freshman too?”

“Yeah, actually. I met Neil in class. Then I figured that, since I have nothing else better to do on this Friday night, I might as well go with him to see what this is all about.”

“Ah,” Andrew said, sitting down and getting his fork. Tim looked like a nice, reasonable guy. He had a bit of a scruffy beard, ruffled black hair, and humor in his eyes, all of which seemed to resonate well enough with Neil. As Tim leaned to whisper something in Neil’s ear, Kevin leaned to whisper something in Andrew's.

“We can switch tables if you want.”

“What are we, in grade school?” Andrew softly retorted, making sure his body language didn’t make him look uneasy. He saw Renee walk up to the chair beside Nicky, and he gave a small wave.

“We’re off to get food,” Tim said, and he and Neil moved to vacate their seats. Andrew did his best not to be bothered by the fact that Neil reached for Tim’s hand.

“My date’s just about to arrive,” Renee said, sneaking a potato wedge off of Nicky’s plate. “Did I miss anything?”

“Andrew being weird—” Kevin was silenced by Andrew’s elbow in his torso. Nicky lurched forward at the comment and almost choked on his cheeseburger. Andrew refused to give anything away with his face, and settled for the blankest look possible.

Renee was looking excitedly between all three of them. “Being weird about what?”

“Being weird about the _freshman_ — ow, dude, cut it out!”

“This shouldn’t be a big deal,” Andrew said, maybe a little too icily. He did a big slurp on his milkshake (which was devilishly good, he had to admit) and leaned back against his seat. He made a face at Nicky, daring him to add to Kevin’s comments.

“You didn’t tell me there was a freshman,” Renee commented, pouting slightly.”

“That’s because he’s insignificant.”

“Doesn’t seem like it, especially since it gets you all bothered and stuff.”

“I am _not_ bothered and—” Andrew was cut off as Neil and Tim arrived back at their table, their own food with them. As the both of them sat down, Andrew noticed that Neil placed a smaller third plate between the two of them.

Kevin eyed it with sudden interest. “That looks delicious.”

Neil’s eyes sparkled. “The cheesecake arrived late. Thankfully Tim and I got a slice.”

“There’s _cheesecake_?” Nicky’s eyes widened. “BRB, guys. I need some of that.” Nicky got up with a flourish, and nodded when Kevin signalled for Nicky to get him a slice as well.

“We haven’t met.” Renee said to Neil, and Neil nodded on his way up from his plate. “I’m Renee.”

“Neil.” Neil pointed to himself, and then to Tim. He was talking with his mouth half-full. “He’s Tim. Both freshmen. I guess you’re the Renee that Allison was talking about?”

“Ah,” was all Renee said, and her blush made Andrew look between the both of them. He said, “Hold on, don’t tell me—”

“I hope you guys didn’t have fun without me,” a voice from behind Andrew said. Allison sauntered up to where Renee was seated, and all Andrew could do was stare as Allison’s manicured hand made its way around Renee’s shoulders. Renee smiled up at her, and moved one of her arms to hug her.

“Hey, Allison,” Kevin greeted, in between bites of a hotdog. He swallowed, then he followed up with, “You got the goods?”

Allison patted her small pastel pink handbag. A knowing smile was on her face. “You know it.”

As Kevin and Allison continued talking, Andrew made sure to have his own conversation with Renee. More specifically, he made sure to catch Renee’s eyes – which wasn’t so hard to do. Renee seemed like she was expecting some sort of interrogation.

 _How did I not know_ this _was a thing?_ said Andrew’s pointer finger, subtly flicking between the two of them. Andrew’s raised eyebrow said _Yeah_ , _what happened to not having any secrets?_

Renee’s shrug replied _Well, now you know._ Then, Renee’s head tilt towards Neil said _Now maybe you can tell me about him_.

 _There’s nothing to say_ , replied the shake of Andrew’s head. Renee’s eyeroll shot back _I don’t believe you_.

_You shake it to the left  
_ _You shake it to the right  
_ _You do the hippy shake shake  
_ _With all of your might, whoa baby  
_ _Aw, you gotta shake  
_ _Well, it's in the bag  
_ _Hippy hippy shake_

As the night went on, Andrew felt an inexplicable annoyance towards Tim and a slightly increasing intolerance for the party in general. While he was kept from absolutely hating everything with Renee’s company and Kevin shooting him concerned looks every once in a while, it was more than safe to say that he would’ve had a better time back at the dorm. There wasn’t much to do here either, with Mr. Warren only occasionally addressing the crowd about reminders and announcements, and the jukebox changing up the music because the teachers liked the era enough to keep it going.

The food was good, Andrew thought. He didn’t usually eat this much, especially since being in a dorm meant having limited food choices (thankfully for both himself and Kevin, Andrew knew how to cook). But he was nearing the end of his first milkshake, and he was actually willing to go back for a second.

Much to Andrew’s surprise, a good number of students went to the dance floor and actually _danced_. Students were with their friends or with their dates for the night, and it wasn’t the dead party that Andrew initially expected. Everyone seemed to be having a good time.

More of a good time then they should be having, Andrew noted, as he saw the subtle slipping of packets between hands, a student or two to the side popping pills and walking back into the party like everything was normal.

“Yep, that’s all me,” Allison remarked, following where Andrew’s eyes were. “I already got the punch bowl too. One full bottle of vodka, all in there with no teacher patrol suspicious. In about an hour, this joint is going to get _lit_.”

“She didn’t overdo it, either,” Kevin said. He had a full glass of the punch, and he set another glass of it in front of Andrew. “So you might as well take the edge off.”

The glass of inebriated punch seemed a less appetizing choice beside the prospect of a second milkshake. “I’ll pass.”

“Didn’t seem like you were anti-alcohol during that party.”

Andrew shot Kevin a cool look, ignoring the way Neil seemed to stare. “There weren’t any milkshakes.” Finishing the froth at the bottom of his glass, Andrew stood up and made his way towards the desserts table.

It was barely half an hour since Allison spiked the punch, but it already seemed like the party was _really_ taking off. The students caught on quick about the punch, and were smart about passing the drugs around. The teachers who _were_ aware about the punch being spiked were seemingly keeping quiet about it, doing their best to stir Mr. Warren away from the drinks. Calmly, Andrew sidestepped a girl that was stumbling from side to side, and set his glass down in front of the blender.

“Another strawberry milkshake, please.” Andrew leaned over the table, casually checking how much ice cream was left. “One scoop of vanilla ice cream, too.”

Momentarily, he considered getting himself a banana split too. It didn’t seem like the ice cream tubs were running out anytime soon. The toppings were deliciously tempting too, decked out in all their colorful glory.

“All that sugar and your teeth will fall out.”

Neil, behind him, didn’t come any closer than a few feet away. Andrew, refusing to look back, face forward and crossed his arms.

“I’m here for a good time, not a long time.”

“Fair. Why didn’t you call?”

“Why did you bring Tim here?”

“Ah.” Andrew heard Neil step forward, and ignored the way his heart skipped a beat. “I asked you a question first.”

“I wasn’t interested.”

“Really?” The student handling Andrew’s milkshake put Andrew’s glass in front of him. “But it seemed like we were hitting it off really well that night.”

After Andrew took hold of his milkshake, he turned around, put one finger by Neil’s shoulder, and pushed him back a little. “Things change.”

Neil didn’t seem like he was buying Andrew’s coldness. “Not that quickly.”

“You have Tim with you now. How is that not change?”

Looking into Andrew’s eyes, Neil looked as if he was searching for something. Andrew resisted the urge to just walk past him and back to the table. After a while, Neil shook his head. “I can't do this," Neil said, resigned. "He’s just a friend.” Neil sighed, even slouched a little. “Neither of us are into each other. I brought him here so that he could ogle the guy he was crushing on.”

“So was the two of you holding hands an act, or—?”

Neil gave Andrew a cheeky smile. “Are friends _not_ allowed to hold hands now?”

_See you later alligator  
_ _After 'while crocodile  
_ _See you later alligator  
_ _After 'while crocodile_  
_Can't you see you're in my way now  
_ _Don't you know you cramp my style_

“Do what you want,” Andrew replied. He gave his milkshake a good stir. “I don’t care.”

He walked back to their table, the way back a little more blocked by inebriated students and chattering teachers. Neil jogged to catch up with him.

“So it wouldn’t bother you if, say, Tim and I kissed at the table?”

Andrew tried his best to make his lack of comfort at the idea internal. “No.”

“Sounds like a lie.”

“Believe what you want.”

Their table was empty, which meant that Andrew and Neil were going to sit there, just the two of them. Neil looked positively giddy as he sat where Renee was sitting, while Andrew mentally cursed Kevin for leaving him here.

Andrew thought Neil was going to continue his incessant chattering, but as it turned out, Neil was perfectly fine with sitting beside Andrew. He appeared to be more than content with looking at the dance floor, watching the guests having fun. Andrew watched Neil snicker at a teacher who seemed to have a little too much punch and was swaying into other people. With every sip of his milkshake, Andrew looked over at Neil, and Neil seemed okay with staying silent.

Even as he wanted to be annoyed at the quietness, Andrew couldn’t help but feel a warm sort of comfort emanate from within him. As Neil waved at Kevin, who was dancing with some girl, Andrew felt something unlock in his chest.

Eventually, Neil turned to face him. He saw Andrew looking at him, and for some reason, Andrew’s first instinct wasn’t to look away. Instead, Andrew leaned back and put an arm around Neil’s chair.

“Staring,” Neil noted, when all Andrew could do was just that.

“Just thinking.”

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Andrew exhaled. This was such a far cry from how his entire disposition was earlier – about half an hour ago his mood was as sour as unripe fruit and he was ready to lash out at anything Neil might say, but _now_ it seemed like all of that was completely drained away and… replaced by a gnawing sensation in his chest. It was _wanting_ and _yearning_ and _wishing_ and _hoping_ and all of it was small enough to settle down in a corner of his heart.

It was small, but Andrew felt it all over.

Andrew didn’t know how to put all of this into words.

So all he had to say was, “I'm just surprised, that's all. I really didn’t think you were capable of sitting down and shutting up.”

The shock on Neil’s face lasted a full second, before it transitioned into a laugh, full and whole and happy. Andrew wrapped a hand around his milkshake as Neil leaned back into his chair, the top of Neil’s back hitting Andrew’s arm.

“Usually I really dislike silences,” Neil admitted, staring down at the table. He took an unused butter knife and twirled it around with his fingers. “They make me uncomfortable for some reason. Ever since I was young, I always liked talking more than I like listening, but I think I’m capable of doing the listening whenever I need to.

“But now… I don’t know. With you here…” Neil trailed off, and Andrew looked down at his lap, the moment getting somewhat heavier. Neil shrugged. “I guess it was alright. Even if you act utterly repulsed by me, the whole time we weren’t talking, I felt… settled. Like for a while, things fell into place, and I didn’t want to ruin that by talking. I don’t know if I’m explaining it right. But yeah. It’s not usually like this either. With other people, I mean.”

When Andrew looked back up, Neil was looking at him, a question so evident on his face that it might as well have been said out loud.

_Why do you think that is?_

“Neil,” Andrew muttered, but it was all Andrew _could_ get out, because Neil moved closer. Andrew’s jaw tensed, the moment just _too much_. His grip on the back of Neil’s chair tightened.

“I know you feel it too,” Neil murmured. “That… that _thing_. You’ve pushed me away so much already, and yet, when we’re alone, you can’t do the same. You're putting up an act that's so fake, it's embarrassing.There’s a _pull_ here, and I don’t think you need convincing about it. Which was why I was confused that you didn’t call. Honestly? On my end, it’s not just some shallow crush I can push away, but I didn’t know how to make it known to you without freaking you out.” Then, Neil tilted his head to the side, as if he was considering a few things. “Or, well, freaking you out more than you already are.”

Andrew nodded, the words processing better now that he had gotten over the initial overwhelming sensation of being _this_ close to Neil.

“I guess it was just—” Andrew started, then drew back, because he didn’t want to say anything he didn’t really mean. Neil nodded once, waiting for him to continue.

“I guess… everything becoming too _real_ was too much for me to handle. I realized that, if we do start going out, there’d be a whole process of— of messing up and saying the wrong things and hurting the other person and— I don’t know. Seems like life’s just easier without all that.”

Neil blinked once, twice, then said, “You see, you say all that, and _yet_ you haven’t said one word of you _not_ wanting to go out.” After mentally rewinding, Andrew hated that Neil was right about that.

After a long pause, Neil looked at Andrew, and continued, "Here. If _this_ doesn't make you feel anything, as in _anything at all_ , feel free to ditch me at this table." He gave Andrew a playful smile in one second, then, in the next two, he moved forward to kiss Andrew on the cheek. A single peck, one that didn’t even last for a full second.

Andrew felt it all over his body, from his head to his chest to his arms and legs. The sensation seemed to travel in waves too, making Andrew tingly all over.

As Andrew’s heart was coming back from having frozen in his chest, Neil leaned back and crossed his arms. A smug smile was on his face. “Your move, Minyard.”

Still feeling the shadow of the kiss on his cheek, Andrew steadied himself. He withdrew his arm from Neil’s chair. Then, with one elbow braced on the table, he faced Neil, who was looking at him expectantly.

 _Well_. _Might as well get it over with_. 

“Neil… well, whatever the fuck your last name is,” Andrew said, and Neil rolled his eyes. Somehow, Andrew felt all the fucks he had to give leave his system. “How do you feel about dinner tomorrow night?”

Just as Neil was about to answer, Tim stumbled into the chair next to Neil. “You two just about done here?” Tim said loudly, his conversational filter clearly gone. Andrew saw that he was flushed, happy, and sweaty from dancing. “Because if Neil here needs an exit, I’m no longer available, thanks to Mr. Brunette over there.”

The man in question was waving at them from the punch bowl. Andrew vaguely recognized him as one of the jocks from the football team. Neil gave a small wave back.

“Don’t worry about us, Tim,” Neil said, moving one arm onto the table to prop his chin on his hand. He looked at Andrew, smirking a little. “We were just getting started.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for part two of this series! I really don't know where this should go from here, so feel free to leave a kudos if you liked it, and a comment if you have any suggestions/thoughts about the whole thing! I'm on [Tumblr](http://exyjunkies.tumblr.com) too, if you'd rather go there. Thank you for reading!!


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